Do I Deserve This? YES, I Do!!!

My name is Laura, and this is my Before to Beyond Story…

About 10 years ago, I was a high-level athlete leading Les Mills Body Pump and CXWorx classes up to 5 times a day, 5 days a week. I looked and felt GREAT! Along the way, I had 3 major surgeries and was diagnosed with a few autoimmune diseases. Exercise was no longer my friend as it caused more pain than it did good. The constant pain, along with other terrible life choices, created a horrid downward spiral. I put on 60 pounds and loads of shame, guilt, and self-hatred. I have not been the example my daughter deserves or the life-giving, life-loving partner my husband deserves. The weight and diet choices have led to more chronic pain, deeper depression, and profound self-loathing, mixed with the knowledge there is something better and that I am somehow capable of it, but how?

I wasn’t going to write my Before to Beyond story. I didn’t feel like I had compellingly become Fitter, Healthier, or Happier enough. Frankly, I’ve let my self-sabotage have the best of me too many times during this Reboot. And then, I realized (after my amazing accountability buddy, Linda—who told me about Zip Slim in the first place—encouraged me one more time) that I was letting it have the best of me again if I stayed silent. The truth is, I have not failed during this Reboot. I may not have had the success I envisioned I would have, I may not have had the results I see others have had, but I have succeeded. I’m down about 10 pounds and a few inches. A few people have noticed a change in my appearance and a few pieces of clothing are fitting looser. These are victories, but they aren’t the victory I’m most excited about. 

My real success is an awakening to how I deserve to live. I deserve to be Fitter, Healthier, AND Happier. I’ve struggled my entire life with believing I deserve good things. Not that I thought I deserved bad things, but the concept of deserving good was foreign to me. 

What turned my mindset around was my body’s response to giving gratitude. When I make giving gratitude a fully present, focused activity, and really talk it out (even to just myself), I have an amazing release of stress, greater focus, and I see more results in my physical body! When I made that connection, it was as if my body jumped for joy and was thanking me for noticing. And the realization hit me: I’ve always heard that we get one body, so we better take care of it. And I believe that’s true, but I see it differently now.  

The body I have was specifically chosen for me, by my Creator. This body is a precious gift that I am privileged to have. I’m blessed with a body that can walk, run, ride horses, practice yoga, breathe in nature, see wondrous beauty, hear delightful sounds, and speak from the depths of my heart. This body has been faithful and hardworking and has carried me through deep valleys only to take me to the highest mountain tops. If my Creator sees me worthy of this wonder of His love and provision, then how dare I see it as anything less deserving of the best I can do and be? So, I no longer think “I better take care of it,” like a punishment. I now think, “I GET” to take care of it! For this revelation, I am eternally grateful. 

I may not yet be significantly Fitter or Healthier, but I’m most definitely Happier! Bring on the next Reboot, because this deserving sister is ready to be the fittest and healthiest I can possibly be! 

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Before to Beyond Stories